the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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