Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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