he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
