Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
