is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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