put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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