Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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