At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
