Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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