Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
