I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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