Non-Jews are for practice
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
