i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
