i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.