Dual....:-)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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