She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
