is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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