how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The best revenge is premature balding
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
