I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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