Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
