I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize