it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
