Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
