Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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