love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
