my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
