Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Too much gin, very little bucket
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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