just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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