Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize