Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
