it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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