i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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