I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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