Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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