Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Someone came in the potted fern
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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