if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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