Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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