I hate your face
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I could fuck to npr.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
