you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
