I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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