so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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