Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...

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  (734): Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception... http://tfl.nu/2wqa
  Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (2090)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"

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  (610): She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it" http://tfl.nu/cfuj
  Replies (111) Good night (3741) Bad night (1742)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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  (610): A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex. http://tfl.nu/u4lo
  Replies (29) Good night (6118) Bad night (1244)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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  (828): You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/y0oy
  Replies (27) Good night (6001) Bad night (839)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3871) Bad night (1257)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers

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  (606): All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers http://tfl.nu/uhar
  Replies (14) Good night (3817) Bad night (1291)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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  (404): You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet." http://tfl.nu/ru2n
  Replies (5) Good night (3972) Bad night (904)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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  (563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (2820)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?

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  (817): Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday? http://tfl.nu/r4ue
  Replies (3) Good night (1857) Bad night (701)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"

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  (306): I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth" http://tfl.nu/c8fv
  Replies (6) Good night (1931) Bad night (844)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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  (618): His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark. http://tfl.nu/bjsg
  Replies (9) Good night (1255) Bad night (1409)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.

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  (325): She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her. http://tfl.nu/stpn
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (256)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (419)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?

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  (785): Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion? http://tfl.nu/5gnr
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (259)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.

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  (970): Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/0i73
  Replies (3) Good night (610) Bad night (349)

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