Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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