I think I died a long time ago.
Your dad touched me again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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