Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
