So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
