i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
