so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
