I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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