Everything about him screamed your future.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
