No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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