My pussy is not your playground.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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