ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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