Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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