I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize