did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
