She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
