We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
