Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
