I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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