Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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