Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
