there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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