I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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