Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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