Got a toothbrush?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
