yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
