"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza