can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys