It's like a parade of train wrecks.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.